Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
