The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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