we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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