Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize