ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
