Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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