Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
