why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
