i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You smell like stripper and shame
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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