He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
