Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
