I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
