you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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