Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
