i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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