im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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