I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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