We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
