oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
too bad you live with your parents still
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
