we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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