we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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