worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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