So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
And then my night got REAL pukey
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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