I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
