are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
