R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I could fuck to npr.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
