i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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