im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
