Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
