Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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