White coat. Heels.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
