Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
She is in my trunk
Nicole vs. Life
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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