If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
