Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
