Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
