he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
