Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
