Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
