Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
