Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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