My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Sponge bath it is.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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