The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
