We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
My pussy is not your playground.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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