I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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