You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He shit in the fireplace
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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