nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
