OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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