So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
