Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
