I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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