Your dad touched me again.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
