i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
