she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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